Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Not Hiding

Today's topic was not hiding from alcohol.  As if one really could just pretend that it didn't exist.  It reminded me of when I would take a week, well more like three or four days, off of drinking...only to "celebrate" afterwards.  I cannot hide from alcohol.  The great thing about admitting that I am an alcoholic is that I don't have to hide from it anymore.  I might not like it, but so what?!  It's a fact.  I have a problem so I should be careful about who I hang out with and where.  My old " friends" across the bay? probably not.  A friend's birthday party at a bar?  Sure.  As long as I go to say " Happy Birthday!" say hello and catch up, meet a few people and leave I'm fine.  I knew when it was time to go.  I am not drinking but I still have the thinking so when I saw the second bottle coming around and the crowd getting to that fevered drunken pitch right before all hell breaks loose I cut.  So much fun to drive home without fear of getting pulled over.

I don't have to shield myself from alcohol.  That would be impossible.  All I have to do is remember one simple thing.  If I have one more drink I will die.

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